104: Fear of Visibility Is Impacting Your Private Practice
“I get so worried about marketing like I won’t be able to remain consistent so I don’t start at all.”
“I know I should blog, or email my list, or post on social but this fear of being seen consumes me.”
“I’m so worried that I won’t sound like myself.”
These are statements I’ve paraphrased from therapists in private practice on why they haven’t started marketing their businesses. Because this fear of marketing comes up so often, I wanted to record a podcast episode (and this accompanying blog) to help you understand that so much of these fears are rooted in a scarcity mindset and the fear of vulnerability. Therapists are scared of marketing because there is a level of vulnerability there that we weren’t prepared to deal with in our clinical training. The good news? The more you are your authentic, weird, and beautiful self the more powerful your marketing becomes.
Scarcity Mindset In Business
Scarcity mindset in business is what happens when you see someone else doing something similar, so you decide that your work isn’t needed. This can look like worrying there aren’t enough resources, there isn’t a strong enough demand, or that your work isn’t “good enough” compared to others.
To hone in a bit more on the topic of marketing, a visibility scarcity mindset in business is what happens when you see someone else showing up and marketing themselves in a similar way, so you get nervous and shut down.
Need some example of visibility scarcity mindset? Here’s a couple of ways it can show up:
If you love the idea of writing heart-crated newsletters, but decide not to because you’re subscribed to a beautiful newsletter, that’s a scarcity mindset.
You like recording short and sweet voice-memos and would love to get them out to the world via a podcast, but you are worried about entering into the crowded market of podcasting, that’s scarcity mindset
The creative part of you shows up in graphic design. You can get caught up in the excitement of collage and want to share your message via Instagram, but there are already other collage-style graphic designers so you keep your folder of collages on your desktop instead, that’s scarcity mindset
Short haikus flow from you, but there are so many poets, so you decide to keep your journal of haikus to yourself, that’s scarcity mindset
To cope with scarcity mindset in buiness, it’s important to trust that there’s more than enough to go around. This can be incredibly hard to do when you grow up in a capitalist society that is built on supply and demand, which feeds the scared voice in your mind that you’re work and wisdom isn’t enough.
Marketing Fears
There are four common marketing fears that I hear repeatedly as a private practice coach. These fears are the fear of being “canceled,” not knowing enough, showing up differently, and deservingness. I break each of these marketing fears down below.
Fear of getting canceled. Don’t get stuck and shut down. Get comfortable speaking on topics that you can back up if a troll were to comment. And if you offend someone? Make like Lizzo and take accountability of your missteps, fix your mistake, and name it so you can do better and model for others the importance of learning when a community lets you know you’ve stepped in it.
Fear of not knowing enough This goes back to episode 103 about imposter syndrome and overconsumption of content and information. You worry that you need another certificate, another book, or another training and so you hide your authentic genius from the world.
Fear of showing up “differently.” This is the WHOLE POINT of marketing. Showing up as the person you are, the therapist you aspire to be, and dismantling systems of oppression starting with your practice.
Fear of deservingness Does my voice deserve to be heard? Do I deserve to be seen? Am I allowed to do this? The fear of deservingness stops many private practice owners in their tracks.
Fear of Being Vulnerable
What do the above marketing fears all have in common? The fear of being vulnerable. The fear of being vulnerable is another way to say the fear of rejection. Vulnerability is all about being true, honest, and raw. Vulnerability emotional openness and exposure comes with the risk of uncertainty. When you are vulnerable, you are saying to someone, “this is a part of me that is incredibly tender, I’m really scared about how you may react.”
If you’re of a marginalized group, such as a woman, BIPOC, queer, undocumented, or disabled, it might also be internalized oppression that’s making it hard to be visible and market yourself. Need a quick refresher on internalized oppression psychology? Internalized oppression is when a person of marginalized identity/identities turns oppression on themselves.
This internalized oppression can often show up as voluntary isolation, editing, self-sabotage, deferring to whiteness, and not enoughness. I learned of these five symptoms of internalized oppression from Trudi Lebron. And these five things definitely make getting visible and vulnerable challenging as marginalized private practice owners.
Freebie to Help with Fear of Visibility & Scarcity
I have a free guide that rounds up my top five resources to help you fill your practice. It includes how to develop self-trust so you can take aligned action in your practice; niche down to call-in clients you know you can serve; market without the ick as a modern therapist; set your fee so you can pay your bills, take time off, and create a thriving practice and creating a schedule that works for your needs and energy. Grab it here.
If you’re listening or reading this on or before June 24th, 2022, you can register for my free group coaching session where you can ask me your question about private practice. Ask me anything about marketing, niching, fee-setting, or visibility! Register here!
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"I get so worried about marketing, like I won't be able to remain consistent. So I just don't start at all. " "I know I should blog or email my list or post on social but this fear of being seen consumes me." "I'm so worried that marketing is going to eat up all my time that I just don't have." If any of those three statements sound familiar to you, then you might be struggling to market your private practice as a therapist because you're scared of being seen and being vulnerable, and experiencing marketing fear. In today's podcast, I'm going to cover how this scarcity mindset shows up in our business, covering some of the top marketing fears that I've heard from clinicians again and again, and we get into this fear of being vulnerable. Before we dive into this episode, I want to invite you if you're a therapist in social justice, or have a marginalized identity in private practice, to this Friday's group coaching, it is on Friday, June 24. If you are listening to this in real time, Friday, June 24th 2022, I am going to be answering your questions about private practice--it is completely free. The first five people who register and show up live will get to ask me their questions. Please come even if you don't get the opportunity to ask your personal question, because oftentimes, hearing from others helps you to understand what other people are going through. And sometimes they're going through something almost identical. And being there and in community with others can help you be seen and heard to register for that again, Friday, June 24 11am Eastern, go to MindMoneyBalance.com/FreeCoaching and if that's not you, but you know, somebody else who's in private practice, who could use a little bit of coaching from me had tell them to head to MindMoneyBalance.com/FreeCoaching and they can join total transparency, this is completely free. And I will be talking about Grow a Profitable Practice From the Inside Out just a touch at the end. Because if you join Grow a Profitable Practice From the Inside Out between June 24 And June 30 of 2022, you are going to get access to a discount, and access to an extended payment plan that is completely markup free, both of my payment plans are record free. But on the waitlist, you have the choice to pay over the course of seven months instead of over the course of five months. So it gives you a little bit of financial breathing room if that is important to you. So again, MindMoneyBalance.com/FreeCoaching to register and show up live on June 24 for some free group coaching. With that exciting announcement out of the way, let's talk about fear of visibility and how it's impacting your private practice.
Here's the thing, as therapists in private practice, we actually do have to market ourselves. Now that is not meaning that you have to send 1000 business cards to a bunch of people, it also doesn't mean you have to go live on Instagram or dance on Tik Tok. But you do have to market yourself. And what that means is getting really clear about your niche. That's who you serve and how you can help them and get really clear about the different ways that you are going to let people know who you are, who you help and how you help them. If you want help figuring out your niche, I have a free guide, lots of free stuff today at MindMoneyBalance.com/FreeGuide that will take you through the five top resources I have from taking your private practice from on the side to full-time. And it includes a very thorough resource on how to actually go about carving out your niche. So if you don't have a niche yet, or you have a broad niche, or you're struggling to narrow it down, you might want to grab that resource at MindMoneyBalance.com/FreeGuide. So you need it to be marketing yourself so that people know that you are around and that they can work with you. You get to decide how you want to market where you want to market.
But we have to get over this fear of visibility and this fear of scarcity and I find them really intertwined in this place of scarcity mindset when it comes to doing the work that you do when it comes to the visibility scarcity mindset in your private practice. It's this idea that there's already somebody out there in the world who does what you do, and therefore there's not enough to go around. There's already someone who does eating disorder recovery in New Jersey, so might as well not bother or there's already somebody that does gender-nonconforming care in Oregon, so better just decide on something else to do or you do continue doing what you're doing, but you do it really quietly, really coyly, you don't really let people know. And that is actually making it harder for you to help the people who you are called to serve. And it's actually so negatively impactful, not just on you in your business, but also on the clients you are meant to serve. Because here's the thing, there are more than enough people out there who need good quality psychotherapy. And the more you hide yourself, the harder it is to get out in front of others. And when we think about having a full practice, let's just be super, super clear here, that full when you are doing it, right, and which means it's in alignment with your energy, which means you're pricing your services appropriately, which means you're seeing the types of clients you're meant to see. Full is between 15 and 20 clients, or 12 and 15 clients a week. And that means you need to get out there and make sure that those 12 or 15, or 20, people know that you exist and that you are available to help. So getting comfortable with this idea that there's more than enough to go around. Even if there is somebody who has the supposedly exact same niche is you in your same city, we don't know that the type of client who you are meant to serve, doesn't, doesn't want to work with that other person, maybe that other person they've already tried working with and they weren't a good fit. Maybe that other person works, days, hours that don't work for this person. So getting really comfortable that it's not competition out there. There's having other people who do what you do means that there is "proof of concept" means that there are other people out there in the world who have businesses or have private practice of serving the types of clients that you want to serve. And because they are in business, it is proof that the type of work that you want to do has a market. So let's not get caught up. And if I do this, and somebody else in town or in my state does it, then I'm out of here, let's really practice getting into this idea that there's plenty to go around. Okay.
Let's get into the four common marketing fears that have, let me be really clear, nothing to do with the logistics. It's not about should I market on social media, should I do email marketing? Should I, you know, optimize my website for SEO? The logistics, let's put those aside. Because these are more about emotional and psychological fears, the fear of getting canceled, the fear of not knowing enough, the fear of showing up differently, and the fear of deservingness. I'm going to break all of these down for you. The fear of getting canceled is one that I have started to hear more and more in the past couple of years, as you know, cancel culture or accountability culture has taken hold. And when we are fearful of getting "canceled," we can freeze and get fearful of speaking our truth. And when I say speaking our truth, when we're talking about our private practices, it's just saying, I help these types of clients. So they can feel better in this type of a way. And here's when I work, here's how I work. And here's the type of people that I serve. That's it. So when we think of it that way, we want to really get comfortable knowing that somebody can't cancel us for not working with, I'm gonna be really extreme here, but just bear with me not working with like NRA members, if for us, we are advocates of sensible gun control. And we're really clear about that you can't get in trouble for saying I don't work with NRA folks. If that is something that is in alignment with your values, and is important to you, and you don't work with those people, you're not going to get in trouble. Or if somebody comes at you and says How dare you not work with people who, you know, are members of the NRA, you can say look, that is another therapist for another person for another day. That is not who I'm meant to see. And I'm gonna go on a sidebar here for just a second. This idea that we are meant to serve everyone, and when I see it on people's websites, I know that it's well-meaning when they say things like we're welcoming and inclusive of everyone. I think that that is incredibly well-intentioned, but it also misses the mark. And I know what they're trying to do most of the time, is say that people who have traditionally been excluded from health care or from mental health care are welcome there. But the way that it reads is that you see anybody and everybody, so let's also get clear about who you see and who you don't see. And again, you can grab that free guide MindMoneyBalance.com/FreeGuide to get my tips on niching that should help you out. So back to this idea of this fear of getting canceled. Is that a real fear? Sure and also people really like canceling people who have lots of status or lots of clout in the world. And not to say therapists don't have status and clout. But most of us are not, you know, Brené Brown sorry, unless Brené Brown's listening, we're not her, okay? Most of us are not on that type of stage. So we cannot fall as far as we are so fearful that we will fall. Let's get really comfortable speaking on the topics that you can back up if a troll were to comment. Like for me, if somebody were to comment on like a popcorn post of mine, since I'm often posting it on Thursday evenings, when that's like my go to thing. If someone's like you, Ew how dare you put nutritional yeast on popcorn, ugh, that is going to be something that I'm just going to be able to kind of like laugh and roll my eyes at because it really to me doesn't matter, they can be offended that I didn't put butter on it, or salt on it, or whatever they think I shouldn't be putting on my popcorn, but it's like not going to really impact me, okay? Other things that are going to probably roll off my shoulders are you know, being clear that I'm child-free by choice, I've made that pretty clearly. And if somebody comes at me, and they're like, well, aren't you worried about who's going to take care of you when you're old? Like, those types of comments just aren't going to like, really weigh me down. And there are certain things that I just don't talk about, because they are too close to home, or that is a boundary that I've put up. And so that helps me kind of navigate what I do market about or what I do share about and what I don't. And let's say you do offend someone, and it actually you're like, totally taken aback, you said something, you did something, and you didn't think it was offensive or harmful at all. And a group of people from that marginalized group or from that group that you offended, says, Hey, you messed up, make like lizard when take accountability of it. Okay? Say I'm sorry, I made a mistake, fix it, and do better to model for others the importance of being open to learning to be open to change when a community lets you know, hey, you just stepped in it. So as therapists we are really good at sitting with discomfort. So let's say worst-case scenario, somebody says, Yo, you said something on your website that was harmful. Take it down. You could like quietly erase that word. Or you could say, You know what, I did put a word there that I'm not super proud of, or that I wasn't aware of was harmful. I've learned from it. I appreciate my community for letting me know that this was bad. And I've made remedies to fix that mistake. That is also something that as therapists we can do. How many times have you been in a session? Hope you know what a client says to you? Whoa, Lindsay, that did not land well with me, that actually is kind of bringing something funky up for me. I'm not cool with that. We don't say well, you shouldn't be cool with it. You shouldn't be okay with what I say. We say, wow. Tell me about that. I'm so sorry that that landed in that way. How can I remedy this? We are constantly modeling for our clients the importance of taking accountability and being humble. So this fear of being canceled, I get where it comes from. And as therapists, we are really good at owning when we've made a mistake sitting with that discomfort and fixing it. So that's one thing to kind of help you move through that fear of getting canceled.
The next marketing fear that I hear from therapists all the time is this fear of not knowing enough, I don't have enough certificates. I haven't read enough books, I haven't done enough supervision. I'm not going to repeat everything that I said in the last episode, Episode 103. But I covered this in-depth. And it's this connection between imposter syndrome and not feeling like you're smart enough or you know enough, or you're gifted enough clinician, and then over-consuming content and information that only furthers this spiral of feeling like you don't know enough. So let's just acknowledge that you don't know everything. I'm raising my hand and you can't see me because this is a podcast. None of us know everything. That's okay, that's a part of being human. And that's again, part of being a clinician, but you know enough about the types of people you serve, and about how you're able to help them and of course, you're open to continuing to expand your knowledge and learn different interventions or therapeutic techniques, but nobody is going to be quizzing you on this when you mark it your private practice, nobody's going to say, or if they do, again, go back to point one on this fear of getting canceled. But nobody's going to say, you know, I can't believe you said that you help people with eating disorders. And you know, you didn't get this particular certificate, how dare you. It's like what? yYu know enough to help the clients you're meant to help. And you are humble enough to continue learning to continue improving, being a clinician. So let's sweep that one to the side too.
The next fear is this fear of showing up differently, which, like, can we just acknowledge this is the whole point of marketing is to help yourself stand out from the crowd, being different is a gift, being the type of therapists that you are, whether you advocate for folks in different ways through social justice, or whether you show up truly embodying parts of your identity, both marginalized, and privilege, that helps to dismantle this idea that all therapists look and walk and talk and interact in the same way. Showing up as yourself, actually is a gift when it comes to marketing, because you are the only person who does therapy in the exact same way that you do it with your unique lens and viewpoint. And that is powerful, my friends showing up and saying, Yeah, I have tattoos and piercings, or I have gray hair, or I live in a bigger body, or whatever it is, helps again, your clients who are meant to work with you find you. The last fear is this fear of deserving this, does my voice deserve to be heard? Do I deserve to be seen? Am I allowed to do this. And this ties into a little bit this idea of not knowing enough, but it's deeper than that. It's about being allowed or about deserving to show up in the way that you need to show up that is most in alignment with you. And I'm here to tell you that you do deserve it. You absolutely deserve to be seen, and your voice deserves to be heard. However you choose to share it with the world, through your marketing channels, it is meant to be seen and meant to be heard. And all of these fears if I were to take all of these fears and put them into a basket, I would comfortably be able to say all of these fears are rooted in this fear of being vulnerable. And the fear of saying this is who I am, this is my face. This is my voice. This is my approach. These are the clients I meant to help. That fear of being vulnerable is incredibly scary and can make marketing incredibly difficult. Because most of us have been trained to be blank slates to not make waves to lead with our credentials, to lead with the alphabet soup of the therapeutic interventions that we do, instead of showing up and being a little bit vulnerable, as the parts of ourselves that we bring into our therapeutic work. And if you're of a marginalized group, you're a woman, you're BIPOC, you're queer, you're undocumented, you're disabled, you're of a religious minority group. I could go on forever. It also might be internalized oppression, that's making it really hard to be visible and market yourself. Yeah. When we think about internalized oppression, just a quick refresh here. It is when a person of a marginalized identity turns that oppression on themselves. And this internalized oppression can often show up is editing, editing what we say editing what we do editing how we show up in the world. This is when code-switching really comes into play. It can show up as voluntary isolation, not going to certain group outings, not putting your face on your website not recording that reel that you want to for Instagram, self-sabotage, spending a lot of time on Canva to create the perfect post and the perfect graphic, only to get ready to hit post and just scrap it altogether. Deciding not doing it or sit down to write the website copy again, that's the words on your website, for your about page. get really comfortable being on the edge of discomfort and being like vulnerable but not oversharing. And then just deleting that entire thing and just saying like no, I'm Lindsay, I'm a therapist. I work in Michigan, the end. Internalized oppression can also show up as deferring to whiteness. And when we think of whiteness within the context of psychotherapy, we think about like the status quo, and the status quo in psychotherapy, is as I mentioned that blank slate to show up. very stoic to show up without reaction to not emote. And that's really hard to do in marketing to not emote to not show yourself. And then finally, internalized oppression can show up is not-enoughness. I'm not enough, right? I don't know enough, I'm gonna get canceled. I'm going to show up two differently. I don't deserve this. Those all fall under the category of not-enoughness. So if you are struggling to market, it might not be the logistics. It's not what platform do I need to be on? How many times do I need to post what you know, audio trend is trending? It really may be that underneath this fear of vulnerability, is that deep-seated internalized oppression, and you're isolating, editing, self-sabotaging deferring to the status quo, and engaging in not-enoughness. That's not a judgment, let me be very clear, been there, raise my hand, continue to experience it also raising my hand, we have to acknowledge that it is not just about the logistics of marketing your practice, and it could absolutely be about who you are the body you live in, in the work that you do that makes it hard to market. And that is why I am over the moon thrilled to be getting ready to open the doors again, to Grow a Profitable Practice From the Inside Out. This time around, I'm being crystal, crystal clear. Let's talk about a niche for a second, that this program is only for therapists in social justice or of marginalized identities. Because I cannot go into a group and say, do this thing, if I'm not fully showing up and saying, These are the folks, these are my people. These are who I meant to work with. And it's so interesting, because I was talking to some past alum of Inside Out if you're listening Hello, and thank you about this change and getting some feedback about making that change. And one of them said, like, Lindsay, you already do this work, I was drawn to you because of your lens of approaching therapy and private practice through the lens of social justice and for people of marginalized identities. This isn't like out of alignment for you, you're just being more clear on your messaging. And hearing that you know who you are, if you're listening was beyond affirming. And it again ties into what I'm talking about today. This fear of visibility and this this scarcity. And had I not said this is what I'm going to do. This is how I'm going to format the group moving forward really clearly. Like who would I be isolating? Who would I not be speaking to? And also, as you've been here listening to me on this journey, I mean, you could say, oh, Lindsay is a flip-flopper. You could say, oh, no, that girl, she evolves and she changes and she takes us right along with her. And for some of you, you're like, Oh, I can't stand this podcast anymore. Because I don't know what I'm getting. When I tune in. Some of you are saying, Oh, thank you. Thank you for showing up being super messy. As you talk about all of this stuff. That was completely off the cuff. By the way. FYI, behind the scenes of this podcast, I usually have a handful of bullet points and then I just riff that was a big riff was a big riff.
Anyway, where was I? Grow a Profitable Practice From the Inside Out is my small group coaching program specifically for therapists in private practice, who work in social justice or are of marginalized identities. And in our time together through the course of five months, we will cover money mindset, without the spiritual bypassing, I will help you figure out what fee you need to set for your therapy session so that you can not only sustain your practice, but have profit and move towards more than enoughness. And then we will talk about how to niche down and get the foundations of marketing while developing that self-trust. Because it's not about me saying yes, you can do that. No, you can't. It's about you saying I'm ready to do this. And I just need to be held within the container of other people who are cheering me on as I show up and as I'm vulnerable. And if that's you, I encourage you to go to MindMoneyBalance.com/ProfitablePractice you can get on the waitlist, the waitlist is running from June 24 Through June 30. And if you add yourself to the waitlist, you get a discount on the program and the option of that mark-up free payment plan. And again, if you want to join me on June 24, I'll be doing a free group coaching session to give you a taste of what it's like to work with me and to offer some more information about the program, and answer any questions you might have. I am just so thrilled that you're here. I'm so thrilled that you're listening. I know that I've been changing things up and I also am just, you know, sometimes I think about this is also not on a bullet point, you guys. I was gonna say y'all, and then I said, You guys, and kind of blended anyway. I don't know where I was going, but I'm just thankful you're here. Can I just say that? I'm thankful you're here. I'm thankful somebody listens. Sometimes I think I'm speaking into the void. And then I'll have a comment like the one I mentioned earlier about my Inside Out alum or I'll get an email in my inbox. I got the loveliest email a couple of weeks ago about somebody who read my book, you know who you are. Thank you for sending that beautiful message. Talk about being vulnerable. It's vulnerable as hell to show up on this podcast and record and wonder if anyone's going to listen. So I'm here with you. It's scary. It's not always easy, but I don't push myself to the point of traumatizing myself or making myself anxious. I keep myself on that edge of discomfort on that growth edge. So that's what I got for you today. I will be back in a couple of weeks.