How to Stop Retail Therapy: Chemicals That Make Shopping Feel so Good
For so many of us, we use shopping as a form of therapy, entertainment, and as a hobby. While shopping isn’t all bad, it does become problematic if it’s getting you in financial trouble, impacting your relationship with others, or is the only way you know how to cope with stress.
Psychology of Buying Things
There’s more than “discipline” that’s needed if you struggle to stop shopping. There is literal neurochemistry impacting our psychology of buying things. Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers whose job is to carry chemical signals (“messages”) from one nerve cell to the next cell. These neurotransmitters impact and control your nervous system, which controls so many of your bodies functions, including your heartbeat, breathing, muscle movements, thoughts, memories, learning, sleep, healing, aging process, stress response, hormone regulation, sense of hunger and thirst, digestion, and more.
So if you’ve wondered whether shopping releases serotonin, you are right! But serotonin isn’t the only neurotransmitter that is released when we shop, we also get a bunch of other chemicals that surge through our body when we swipe our cards and engaged in retail therapy.
When we spend money, our brains release neurotransmitters, like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins, that play a role in motivation, reward, and pleasure. This is why activities like shopping can be potentially addictive, because it feels good.
These chemicals are ones that our body needs, and craves. To summarize what these neurotransmitters do without sounding like a biochemistry book, serotonin regulates anxiety and helps you feel happy, dopamine is the reward hormone associated with motivation and excitement, oxytocin has to do with connection and love, and endorphins serve as a natural painkiller, feeling of accomplishment.
Boost Your Mood Without Shopping
It's important to remember that spending can also be a way to treat yourself, celebrate accomplishments, and connect with others. Don't cut back on spending entirely. Instead, focus on alternative ways to get that rush of feel-good chemicals.
Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that plays a role in mood, sleep, anxiety, and appetite. If you’re feeling anxious, on edge, experiencing difficulty sleeping, or like you can’t quite feel satiated, consider trying:
Improving sleep hygiene: Going to bed at a similar time every night, keeping your bedroom cool, and avoiding screens before lights out are keys to improving your sleep quality.
Reinforcing self-confidence: Think of things you’re good at or proud of, and pat yourself on the back when you do something awesome.
Positive reflection and gratitude. A small gratitude practice, such as listing three things each day you’re grateful for, can help create a positive feedback loop.
Incorporating more foods with tryptophan into your diet: Some research suggests that tryptophan can help increase levels of serotonin, positively impacting mood and helping to decrease irritability (Journal of Psychiatry & Neuroscience, 2007).
Endorphins are natural pain relievers that can also create a sense of euphoria and accomplishment. So if you are craving excitement and accomplishment without shopping, consider trying:
Laughter. I’m a fan of bookmarking funny TikToks or Reels, saving funny memes or pictures in a “giggle folder” for those times when I need a laugh.
Moving Your Body. Everything from a walk, swim to dancing in your living room can help release endorphins into your body.
Completing a hard task. Whether that task is a report you’ve been putting off at work, finally filing your taxes, or repainting a bedroom, completing a task can help you feel accomplished.
Eating spicy foods
Eating dark chocolate
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a role in motivation, reward, and movement. For those times when you want the excitement of something new, consider:
Revisiting old hobbies or creating new ones
Spending safe time outdoors: If it’s not safe to be outside (think: poor air quality) you can also watch a movie or video with lots of natural landscape shots!
Improving sleep hygiene
Eating nutrient-dense food or foods with l-tyrosine: L-Tyrosine is an amino acid found in eggs, meat, fish, nuts, wheat, and oats.
Listening to music
Oxytocin is a neurotransmitter that promotes feelings of connection, love, and trust. When you’re feeling lonely, isolated, or stressed, consider trying:
Consensual touch. Hugging a friend, making out with your partner, or holding a loved one's hand.
Snuggling/petting a pet: 15 minutes of pet snuggles is all you need to get oxytocin flowing.
Engaging in deep conversations
Doing activities with others
Helping others: Small acts of kindness, like holding a door open for someone at the grocery store, all the way to structured volunteering to help release oxytocin.
How to Stop Retail Therapy
Rather than “stopping” shopping, it’s better to think about alternatives to shopping. Scan the above list for things you might be craving when you go shopping. If you find yourself feeling lonely, bored, or stressed, you might be in need of some oxytocin. Instead of heading to your favorite online store, try texting a friend and seeing if they can meet up with your for a walk. The next time you’re on edge or anxious and are tempted to fill up your cart with eBay finds to get your serotonin fix, try journaling on three things you’re grateful for to get your serotonin needs met.
If you feel like you just can’t stop shopping and struggle to pause in the moment and need to create additional “friction” between you and a shopping spree, here are a few ideas.
Delete your payment method. Remove your credit card from your online browser, google or apple pay to add an additional step between you and your purchase.
See what you can get for free. If you’re an avid audiobook listener or paperback reader, visit your local library! I have my library card connected to an app called Libby, that allows me to “check out” audiobooks using my local library.
Shop your closet. If you want new clothes, shop your closet before hitting “purchase” or heading to your favorite boutique. Look for items of clothing that might have fallen to the back of your closet or be tucked away in your laundry room. See what you already have that you could style in a new way before shopping.
“Rest” your purchases. Before you hit “buy,” institute a cooling-off period. For most people, leaving an item in a shopping cart for 1-3 days helps us to make more informed financial decisions.
Sell to Shop. If you want to buy something, create a rule that you have to earn that money from the belongings you already have before shopping. For example, if you want something that costs $40, you must sell something you own for $40.
Other Retail Therapy Considerations
For many people, shopping can be a way to cope with stress, entertainment, and a hobby. But runaway shopping can also cause serious issues such as financial stress, strained relationships, and using it as a crutch to deal with emotional discomfort. The key here is to keep things balanced and stay mindful when shopping. By doing that, we can enjoy the fun stuff shopping offers us without dealing with a financial hangover.
As a social worker and financial therapist, I love helping organizations, schools, and conferences un-learn the shame and stigma associated with money. If you want a keynote, presentation, or workshop on financial wellness, reach out and let’s talk about how I can bring these topics to you